The Writer In a Suitcase ™

NOW AVAILABLE!

Popping up in writing programs across the country!

The Writer In a Suitcase ™ comes packaged in a box, and his mind– what there is of one– exists in a box. More, he puts all the people he meets into mental boxes, with labels on them. He perceives the world strictly through well-ordered labels and boxes.

Ease of Use! There’s no need for The Writer In a Suitcase ™ to monitor himself, as so many other writers now are doing. This writer comes pre-screened, proper acceptable attitudes built in, so to speak. There is zero possibility of The Writer In a Suitcase ever thinking an untoward thought, much less saying one.

Ease of Storage! At the end of a day of writing or editorial duties, The Writer In a Suitcase ™ can be put safely away in a drawer, there to be retrieved in the morning without a single change in perception, ideology, or beliefs. Guaranteed!

Though his literary style may be rather wooden, bloodless and humorless, without the failings of normal writers, this is small price to pay for the predictability of his writing. No surprises! No sarcasm, sneering, anger. No hate or lust. No mocking or violence or thunder: Nothing. Not a single self-generated emotion. What comes out of The Writer in the Suitcase‘s mouth is only what you the artistic gatekeeper put into it. This writer is utterly completely safe.

Order yours today!

-K.W.

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